We finally had our 1st home study visit this past weekend (june 21) and it was great. I was so nervous. I figured she would come in and tell me everything wrong with my home that will prevent me from having a child and she did nothing of the sort. She simply sat down with us, discussed our reason for adoption, our history, our personal information and did a quick tour of the home. She was so down to earth and comfortable to be around. Once the visit was done I felt so confident about the situation. I now have no worries at all about the process and feel very confident that it will all happen. We have chosen a new name for our boy, Kaysen, so far that is staying. I really find it fits well and it feels right. We requested 0-9 months at time of placement but we also requested as young as possible, so who nows. Our final home study visit will be Sept 6th, so if all goes well our dossier should be sent out to the agency and ministry by the second week in Sept. I can't wait.
I did have my first mini melt down last week, which allowed me to really evaluate what we are doing and if we were doing the right thing and after many days of crying, questioning our decision, and discussions with Chris, I feel much better and know that we are doing the right thing. I'm sure it won't be my last freak out, but i think it's normal to feel the way I feel. As Judy (our adoption practionner) said, it's hard not to feel that way when you have absolutely no control as to the future of your family. But i now feel even better. Well enough about that. Life is good and I can't wait till Sept....
