Today I went and purchased a few bins to store Kaysen's stuff while we get the office ready and his room ready. I know I should have felt happy that his stuff was being stored to make room to get his room ready (which I won't do until after the referral) but I was sad. Sad that I won't get to see his stuff there everyday, sad thinking "Will I ever get to actually use this stuff? and if so, when?" and mostly sad because he isn't coming home for a long time and I want him home. This year will be a busy year for us as my parents will be moving in (once there home sells) and we will be renovating the house to accomodate them and give everyone their own space, but I still don't think it will be busy enough to make time go by faster. The great thing is that we will be busy with all kinds of stuff to maybe not have time to sit around and drown in self pitty.
It will be so nice to have my parents around for Kaysen. They won't be here all year round as they plan to travel now that my dad is retired, which will be nice as i'm sure we will all need a break from each other once in a while but I feel this is a good move and it will be great to have them around once Kaysen get's here. Once the attachement/adjusting stage is someone passed, meaning he knows who his mommy and daddy is, he will love to get to know them more and have them around. The first few months home may be tougher for him as he needs to sort of stick with Chris and I only but then i'm sure i'll never see him .... which may not be a good thing for me. My parents will be so happy to see him everyday, and to make them and him happy will be a great feeling. I think having not had children for so long, Chris and I will appreciate the extra help, and the occasional breaks. Even adoptive parents who go through what we are all going through will someday need a break, it's normal, it's life. I can already picture him running down to greet his "Memere and Pepere" in the morning, and the joy my parents will get from it fills my heart. I guess i'm just very family oriented and love to make my family smile. Wish us luck.... !!!
