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Thursday, December 31, 2009

Happy New Year 2010

Happy New Year to all. It's kind of weird that we celebrated a new year 3 hours before Chris and my sister's family did, this was definitely a first for us all.

What will 2010 bring us? I tend to wonder that a lot lately, but first I must reflect on 2009.

2009 was a rough year for us. I remember writing my new year's post last year full of hope that I would know what my son looked like by this time and even hope that we would be planning to pick him up soon, however things didn't work out that way.

We started the year on a rough note as the time lines kept getting extended, but we found the strenght to keep going and keep hoping as the months went by. I began a new job in March which kept me nice and busy not even having time to dwell on the long wait, which was a nice relief. My beautiful nephew was born June 2009 and I envisioned myself holding my son shortly. I was enjoying my new position, traveling and feeling good about our life and our journey when all went wrong in July with the news of the bankruptcy. Since that day, life has not been the same. Some things have changed for the better and others for the worst. The worst is obviously the fact that our son won't be home for awhile still, but the good things were that I learned to live for myself again and not just for Kaysen. I had become so involved in the adoption journey that I lost myself and my way of living, every thing I did was for Kaysen, I wouldn't try new things until he would get home, not a decision was made without thinking of how it would effect him. Well not that I don't think of him every day now, but I also think of myself and the life Chris and I have to live until he gets home. Our life is so important and placing it on hold any longer is just not right. We will celebrate Kaysen upon his arrival, but until then this is our year to enjoy ourselves and learn who we are again.

2010 will bring us new adventures in a new home in a new city with all new surroundings.
2010 will bring us happiness and love
2010 will allow us to discover new things
2010 will allow us to rediscover ourselves and what we want to do with our lives

2010 will be the year for us. It may not be the year we become parents, but it will be our year, our year to live life to the fullest, to enjoy our time together, to celebrate the blessings of someday becoming parents and most of all it will be our year to grow.

Cheers to 2010, may it bring us love and joy and may it also bring us one year closer to our son.