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Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Insanity of an adoptive mother

As you know from reading this blog we have been on this adoption journey for over 2.5 yrs and have been trying to have a child for over 6 yrs. That is a long, long time to wait for a child. With this wait came a few moments of say the least. Seeing as we requested a boy in Ethiopia, I turned to retail therapy right away thinking I may want to get ready as I only have approx. 1 year. Well, I was wrong about the wait time which meant I needed more therapy which in turn meant more shopping. Once the bankruptcy happened I stopped retail therapy and packed everything away, out of sight, out of mind. Well today I was feeling pretty good about things so I decided to venture into the unpacked toy room and decided to also see what cute clothes I had....this is what I found...

which is
35 pairs of socks
49 Onesis
40 t-shirts
29 long sleeve shirts
9 Button up shirts
2 pairs of shorts
3 Vests
8 matching pant/shirt outfits
2 coverall style jeans
8 regular pairs of jeans
1 winter suit
13 hats
33 Bibs
8 Spring jackets
7 Hoodies
5 Sweatshirts
4 pairs of cords
30 Pajamas
6 casual comfy pants
5 Khaki pants
4 regular pants
and that is not including the a bin full of cups, bottles, bowls, spoons, soothers and everything else you can imagine. 95% still have the tags on them and then I have 2 bins of used boy clothes....INSANE, even more insane that I did an inventory of it, don't you think. All the clothes is from 9-24months and nothing for a new born.
After this crazy insane inventory moment I had major reflection moment and a good talk with Chris about our new adoption journey, and we have decided after all we have been through we both still want our son. His name won't be Kaysen but he will be a boy. It may take us longer to be matched with a birth mother as alot of the mothers don't know the sexe of the baby but at this point what's an extra few months wait to get our son. Don't get me wrong, it's not that we wouldn't take a girl if a girl was handed to us but at this stage we still have a choice and it would be a large, large hassle to get rid of the above mentioned list, the bedding set, the books, the EVERYTHING boy. One less hassle is worth the extra wait. and who knows it might not be an extra wait it all depends on the birth mothers that are shown our profile.
The best news is that I have 0-9mths of boy clothes to buy now....I KNOW INSANITY, i've gone over the edge fully but i'm not making excuses for it i'm just allowing myself to do it because I CAN.

A little more color...

When we moved into the house it was a complete blank canvas. White everywhere....i know some people would love to have an all white home but I need color. Not only for comfort as color makes it feel like home but also for cleaniness. Having 3 dogs running in and out all the time get's thing dirty fast. I told myself that I would give it 6 months to make sure I'm getting the colors I want and really get a feel for the home before I paint....well that lasted 1 and 1/2 months and out I went to get some paint. Here are some before and after, let me know what you think.



What do you think? Honesty would be appreciated.