I sent in the final installment payment to Imagine this morning. It was strange as everytime i've sent them a cheque in the past I felt a surge of excitment and hope. But today I just drop it off as if it was just any other piece of mail. No excitment, not thinging about it more than that, no extra hope, just nothing.
I'm guessing it's caused by knowing what "loss of hope" feels like and having to get through so many disappointments that i've become somewhat numb to certain things that would normally excite me. I find it sad to feel that way, this should have been an exciting day but with the latest increase in disappointment every few weeks it's hard to stay focused.
Needless to say, the cheque is in the mail, the final installment is paid and now we wait for some news. Here's hoping the next payment I send to them is the post referral payment and we are that much closer to our son.
EDIT*** I received a question from this post that I would like to clarify. My dear blogger friend asked what I meant by Post referral payment? What I meant by that is the money we have to pay to the agency for Post placement updates. This payment is to pay for all paperwork and work needed by Imagine to send in our post placement updates to the country. When we signed up we payed all our fees except for that one as it was only due after referral. I'm not too sure if this payment is no longer required but I would assume it is. Sorry for making anyone panick, I would go nuts too if I read I needed to come up with more money. That's all we've been doing lately...more money...no advance.
