Isabella's Age

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Wednesday, September 30, 2009

The new agency...

HAS PASSED COURT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is now official, the new agency will be up and running tomorrow.

We still have some milestones to get through before we are good to go, but one at a time is all we can ask for.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

10 Months

What a fitting picture to celebrate the 10th month of waiting for our son to come home and the opening of new doors to our journey.
10 months down, 10 months less to go.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Pics of Owen

Here are a few pics of my nephew Owen he is now just under 4 months old... Yep he's a big boy, but sooooo cute.

My brother Denis with his big boy. Now you see where the eyes come from.

proud mommy (laura) with her BIG boy (he was just 3 mths here)

look at those eyes.... i miss him so much. xoxoox

Just thought of something.....happiness

Yesterday I made the long drive back from Thunder Bay to Sault Ste Marie (8hrs) only to end up in a VERY dumpy hotel, with no internet, and I thought the last one was bad. Needless to say it's my fault for not making prior arrangements. The one great thing about yesterday was the absolutely gorgeous sunset that travelled with me. If anyone out there is looking for a gorgeous scenic drive you must do the drive from Thunder Bay to Sault Ste Marie, it's absolutely gorgeous and I will make sure to have my camera the next time.

All the way back I was being careful not to encounter wildlife and did good, until I reached the hotel and there to greet me in the parking lot was a large moose, again no camera so no pic, but it was great. It actually chased some guy around a tree. Quite entertaining. Anyways, being exhausted I just wanted to get to bed, so I get into this room and check for bugs, I open the curtains, and about 6 large spiders are staring at me, they were on the other side of the glass but still....yuck, after an intense bug check I settled in, above the covers, and feel asleep....zzzzzz for like 10 min. then jumped out of bed...shaking, not knowing where the heck I was and scared to death. Well that describes my every hour for the next 6 hrs evening. So, as soon as it was morning, I got up, dressed and checked out. Being on the road is a blast so far..... lol After driving around for 30min trying to find a place with internet I found a cute coffee shop and have been sitting here for the last few hours....i'm sure they will be kicking me out very soon. They will think I'm homeless or

Anyways, to get to what this post is actually about, as i'm sitting here trying to wake up I realized that I am now free to think about Kaysen (not that I ever stopped) to speak about him and his coming home someday and even more importantly I can start retail therapy again....yeahhhhhhhhhhhh. I will have to go through all is stuff to see what I have but at least I can look again, even if I don't buy as i'm sure Chris will tell me "he has enough". It will just feel good to be able to look again.

As I was driving yesterday I realized i'm finally happy again, it's been months since I could say that I was actually happy. All I wanted to do was be happy enough to be able to dance freely again (by myself as I look rediculous) but once I get home I will definitely get the dogs together and have a dance..................thank god for the great inside feeling again.

Okay, enough know what, it also feels great to blog again....

Wednesday, September 23, 2009


Wow, 2 posts in one day.

Although we had GREAT news this week, we also got sad news. My sister and her family will be moving in 2 weeks to Kamloops BC, they are currently 15 min away and will now be 4 days away. I try not to think of it to much, which is why this will be a short post. But they will be missed. They were always there and now they won't be. On top of that, my parents are leaving for 2 months to go to Arizona, as they are retired now and want to travel, so I will go from having all my family around to Chris and I. Thank god, my brother and his family will still be close by. I miss my nephew so much and I've only known him for a few months, I can't imagine how much I will miss my family.

I love you all very much, be careful, and don't forget how to use a phone....


I'm a few days late with this news but only because i've been on the road and super busy. I also didn't really know how to feel or what to write. So as i'm sitting here in a very dumpy hotel in Thunder Bay 13 hrs away from home and waiting for my next appointment I figured I would give it a shot.

THE ADOPTION IS BACK ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! well that wasn't so

My son, my dear son will eventually be home. We will have to wait a little longer, and we will have to financially invest a little more but who cares, my son will be home. A month ago, I had no confidence in the plan, not because I didn't want to believe but because my heart wouldn't allow me to believe. But my dear, sweet, amazing, husband never stopped, he has always stayed positive and kept sending me his positive energy and I thank him for that. I never knew our love could grow stronger but it did, he his my soul mate, my other half and without him I would not have gotten through it. Thank you for loving me and supporting me through good times and bad. I cannot imagine my life without you. xoxoxo

I am still scared to say he WILL come home as it was so hard to deal with thinking that he may not, but I will say it, HE WILL COME HOME and I WILL BELIEVE IT.

We have all been through a rough few months, and we all became bonded for life after this experience, but I want to thank you all, my adoptive families, for your amazing support. Even those that are not with IA but always there to try and help. I also appreciate the space everyone gave us to allow us to deal with this in our own way without pushing us to feel things we may not have been ready for.

My family, here at home, has been so supportive throughout all this, and I tend to forget that this was painful for them as well. I apologize for that. Without you to provide that shoulder to cry on, the ear to listen and sometimes that silent hug to let me cry, it would have been way more difficult. I thank you for that. You were able to be strong for Chris and I although you were hurting as well and you always remained positive in front of us. You were always there to go into Kaysens room for me when I couldn't and I never even thought of how hard it must be for you to go into his room, I just knew I couldn't do it. The words "Thank you" are definitely not enough to express the gratitude, so I vow to keep showing you everyday how appreciated you and what you did are.

I love you all very much, and thank you all very much.

oh yeah, one more thing,

KAYSEN WILL COME HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Big day has come and gone

Well friday we received the proposal and all was well, should 51% of creditors vote yes by the end of the month the possibility of a restructure is very very good. We would be so blessed to have such a great thing come out of something so very bad. So the weekend was good and positive, but then, just when you think it will all be ok. Whammmmmm, down again, it looks like referrals for IA will not begin until April 2010, and will be on a schedule of 5 referrals for the first 6mths, 10 referrals a month for the 6 mths after (Oct 2010-Apr2011) and 15 per month for the remaining months. SOOOOOOO now again, i'm down. Don't get me wrong, I did say I would wait years and years as long as it was a sure thing and Kaysen would someday be home, but now that reality hit and it may be late 2010 early 2011 before we get him it's hard to swallow. I'm still thankful for the proposal, i'm just dealing with alot of guilt. Why did this have to happen? Why can't I be okay and not have to put my family through this? Why do I have to be almost 36 to be a mother? Why can't I just shut this off for a few years and turn it back on when needed? and the why's go on and on and on, and none of them have answers.

i know I can't control what has happened to us, and why i can't have bio children but it's just hard to understand. I wouldn't trade the opportunity to have Kaysen, I just want answers. I'm also struggling with knowing that Kaysen will more than likely be the only child for us, unless we get some miracle. I'm troubled that we are in a position of no choices, seeing as we are so emotionally and financially invested there is no other way or option.

I remember seeing other blogs with 23 months waiting for a referral and thought, OH MY GOD how do they do it? Well I guess we will find out. We have been waiting almost 6 yrs to start a family and we will be waiting some more..... I just wish it would end sooner. :(

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Tomorrow is the big day....

It's been confirmed by the FIA commitee that tomorrow is the day we will all be presented with the restructuring plan for Imagine. I can't even begin to think of what it will say but I can only hope for great stuff that we all agree on. According to previous news, we will have approx. 30 days to review and make a decision. I'm sure we will all have our decision made by tomorrow evening or within a week at least, so i'm hoping that it won't take another month, but whatevere it takes to get closer to Kaysen we will do.

I wish luck and happiness to all involved. This has been a rough few months but we made it this far, another small step won't keep us down.

More news to come....