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Friday, February 5, 2010


I just arrived back home from my business trip to Orlando today. It was great seeing my boys again, they were so happy to see me and I them, they have yet to give me space. However, coming home to "no" Chris was and is really hard. Knowing I won't be seeing him for another 3 weeks and then that I have to let him go again as this (insert swear here) house isn't going anywhere fast.

People always so "Distance makes the heart grown founder" but no one told me "Distance makes the heart hurt", I need him so much, the need hurts from the inside out. Not knowing when we will be able to get things back to normal is something I just can't get passed. I'm sure if I knew when we would be moving it would help but not knowing is horrible. You would think I would be used to dealing with the "not knowing" with the adoption and all but I'm not and it sucks.

I have always known Chris was my soul mate, my other half of the mold, but I have never been away from him long enough to hurt from his not being around. I miss his arms around, his kisses, his smiles, his jokes, and mostly his presence.

Today is especially hard as I haven't sleeped properly in a week, I was falling asleep all the way home, which was really scary, and i'm intensly emotional. The one good thing is that I'm not dwelling on the adoption. I figure things are going great and they will happen when they happen.

The dogs and I are lonely, we miss him greatly and can't wait to get our lives back to normal.

"You are my lover, my best friend, and part of my soul, I love you more and more each day and can't wait until you hold me again"

1 comment:

Kendra said...

I feel for you! I too am doing the same type of living situation now and wish the house would just sell so I could buy and go home at night.

The not knowing sucks!