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Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Insanity of an adoptive mother

As you know from reading this blog we have been on this adoption journey for over 2.5 yrs and have been trying to have a child for over 6 yrs. That is a long, long time to wait for a child. With this wait came a few moments of say the least. Seeing as we requested a boy in Ethiopia, I turned to retail therapy right away thinking I may want to get ready as I only have approx. 1 year. Well, I was wrong about the wait time which meant I needed more therapy which in turn meant more shopping. Once the bankruptcy happened I stopped retail therapy and packed everything away, out of sight, out of mind. Well today I was feeling pretty good about things so I decided to venture into the unpacked toy room and decided to also see what cute clothes I had....this is what I found...

which is
35 pairs of socks
49 Onesis
40 t-shirts
29 long sleeve shirts
9 Button up shirts
2 pairs of shorts
3 Vests
8 matching pant/shirt outfits
2 coverall style jeans
8 regular pairs of jeans
1 winter suit
13 hats
33 Bibs
8 Spring jackets
7 Hoodies
5 Sweatshirts
4 pairs of cords
30 Pajamas
6 casual comfy pants
5 Khaki pants
4 regular pants
and that is not including the a bin full of cups, bottles, bowls, spoons, soothers and everything else you can imagine. 95% still have the tags on them and then I have 2 bins of used boy clothes....INSANE, even more insane that I did an inventory of it, don't you think. All the clothes is from 9-24months and nothing for a new born.
After this crazy insane inventory moment I had major reflection moment and a good talk with Chris about our new adoption journey, and we have decided after all we have been through we both still want our son. His name won't be Kaysen but he will be a boy. It may take us longer to be matched with a birth mother as alot of the mothers don't know the sexe of the baby but at this point what's an extra few months wait to get our son. Don't get me wrong, it's not that we wouldn't take a girl if a girl was handed to us but at this stage we still have a choice and it would be a large, large hassle to get rid of the above mentioned list, the bedding set, the books, the EVERYTHING boy. One less hassle is worth the extra wait. and who knows it might not be an extra wait it all depends on the birth mothers that are shown our profile.
The best news is that I have 0-9mths of boy clothes to buy now....I KNOW INSANITY, i've gone over the edge fully but i'm not making excuses for it i'm just allowing myself to do it because I CAN.


Stephanie said...

I think that is a wise decision!! Beside ALL the stuff you have ;-)your heart has been wanting a son so I think you need to hold onto that.

Here's hoping you are matched VERY quickly!

Steph :-)

Derrick, Alysia, and Levi said...

Oh Natalie! I just had to chuckle when I saw your pictures! I know that if my husband had let me, I would have had a similar collection by the time Levi came along. We still had a lot as it was, and I know what a relief it was to find out Levi was a boy, with all our boy stuff, so I understand you not wanting to give up on that part of your dream when you still have a choice. I will pray that your son is born VERY soon!! And just in case you don't go tooooo nuts with retail therapy, I will save the best of Levi's 0-9 month clothes for you. If it's cruddy, I'll get rid of it. But if it's still good, I'll keep it. Just today I sent a box of stuff he's outgrown to our community services, but I'll hang on to some things for you from now on. This is VERY exciting!

Joy said...

Ok, well, at least you're not entirely alone. That's a pretty spectacular collection! I have a lovely collection of brand new cloth diapers in wonderful fabrics & prints, matching cribs, a nursery cross-stitch of African animals, books, clothes, toys...a fantastic stroller I just might hang onto for a few years just in case, car seats...I think those will be sold soon if we end up changing our age range substantially...before the car seat laws change or something and they become worthless. I felt the same way - the prospect of a completed adoption in 9-12 months was sounding quite likely when we signed up. It seemed unrealistic to wait and buy EVERYTHING in the estimated 3 months from referral to travel (there would be enough to do with organizing travel, buying the right-size clothes, etc.), and I wanted the adoption to feel "real" by acting as if it was really happening. About to pack it all up and go back to having a dedicated spare room for a while, until we REALLY know what's happening! And my sister may be getting some very adorable brand new baby clothes for her baby #2! (at least they'll get good use in that case. No sense waiting until they become completely outdated). Ah well. I could have bigger regrets in life, although this time I may be a bit more cautious in my preparations!

The Mannings said...

Wow!!! Well, you are good and prepared. i am sure that it will be nice to enjoy your baby boy when he is home and not have to worry about what he will wear :) Lucky for me -we dont know if we will have a boy or girl and so i haven't done much shopping yet. But once i find will be scarry :)

Sharla said...

That is some extreme retail therapy!!! But just think of all the time you will save not having to shop when you have your baby to take care of and would rather play with him?!