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Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Dreaming

All evening I have been imagining the moment I will finally get to hold my son. Cuddle him, kiss his little head as he sleeps, and just sit and stare. It's a yearning feeling I have inside , I usually don't sit and dwell on it to much but tonight it was stronger than I was. The empty feeling inside is needing to be filled. I know I have months, if not years to wait but I often ask myself, when will it go away, why can't I make it go away, and finally will it ever go away?

I picture you in our home, sharing, laughing, smiling, creating new memories. I long for the day I don't have to picture it anymore.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh my, I can totally relate to this. That yearning is something so beyond my control...not a bad thing, just hard to feel most of the time. Thanks for sharing.
Allison

(Waiting too for the day I get to hold my child(ren)...)

Ruth Branson said...

Oh, I know that feeling so well. In our long struggle with fertility, that yearning was so intense sometimes that I could hardly bear the pain and longing of it. When I finally held our son for the first time, it's like a hole in my heart was filled. I can hardly, hardly wait for you to describe what that first moment holding YOUR son was like for you. You're almost there...

Ruth

lyndsey&kevin said...

It will happen... but not soon enough! Dreaming is what we do.. so keep dreaming!!!!

L

Kendra said...

I am generally not emotional but have had moments when I think about having a child home and will have tears rolling down my cheeks. It's crazy but I get it.

Chad, Laura and Sara said...

Dreams come true - we have all been witness to that over the past few months...

Keep dreaming,
L