Early Valentine's Day gift

Last month I had mentioned to my husband how cute it was that a fellow blogger (Rhonda) had received this beautiful statue gift with the parents and baby and that someone had darkened the baby. Well today I get home and I'm just doing my stuff while chatting on the phone and what do I find directly below my "Birth Mother" painting, this beautiful statue with a darkened baby. He said it was an early Valentines Day gift. Well after a few "OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD" and a few tears, I thought I would share it with you all. I am so grateful for having such a thoughtful husband. I just hope he realizes how much he means to me and how much this statue means to me. I love you more than words can describe.

Secret Pal Gift

I just love my monthly secret pal gift, what a great thing to go to the mail and among all the regular bills there is a gift for me, it makes me smile everytime and gives me something to look forward to everyone. This month I was greated by these two wonderful stuffed cuties. I mean, they would make anyone smile right?

Thank you Secret Pal for making me smile once again.

My son's wardrobe.

My mom and I were talking this weekend about the amount of clothes I have for Kaysen already. Upon my arrival last night I did a quick count and it looks like he has enough clothes to not wear the same thing twice in a month and if I begin to mix and match he could go with a few months worth of outfits without wearing the same one twice. He also has enough sleepers to not wear the same one twice for a month. Needless to say I won't have to do much laundry to keep his clothes replenished.....and I still have a year to go....wow. Will this slow me down? Not really. I will slow down this summer as I dont want to buy him summer clothes, as I don't know what size he will be during the summer. At least with fall/winter clothes he can wear it all year round. I'll have to put everything together and take a picture so you can all see how crazy it's getting. Go to love retail therapy.

Cambridge Get Together

This weekend, Chris, my mom, my dad and I took a road trip to Cambridge for the Ethiopian get together. We all felt over joyed seeing all the kids home with their families. They all looked so cute and happy. Running around playing, laughing and just being kids. It was so great to be able to associate reality to this journey. I felt I was a little shy to approach others as I didn't have a child with me but I'm sure the more of them I attend the more people I will meet. I just didn't want to bother others with my comments and questions. I did however get to meet some families from the blog world and others from the area and felt "Wow, we really aren't alone in this crazy situation" there were alot more people there than I would have expected. I guess I didn't think there were so many of us in Ontario.

I would like to thank Jacklyn for organizing such a great even for us and I look forward to the next. Hopefully it's sooner than later.

(I don't have any pictures, as I didn't think it was place to take pictures of others children)

After the get together we drove to Toronto and stayed there over night. My parents had never been up the CN Tower so we took a "COLD" walk over and went up. We even ventured outside up there and froze our areas off...lol but we had a great time. Everytime i'm back in the city it makes me want to move back. I would love to move into the city but having 3 dogs and a child on the way it's not a possibility. Something I should have done in my early 20s. Oh well, visiting is just as good. We also discussed a possible New York/Philly road trip this summer, so i'm excited.

2 Months

Well, 2 months and one day and one day to be exact. It feels so good to be past the one month mark, on to the 3rd.

New President New Hope

Introducing the 44th American President and Family. Hoping for change.

New friends and Ugly Doll

On Thursday evening I had the pleasure of meeting a couple, Michelle and Bruce, who are from the area that have just started their home study and are planning an adoption from Ethiopia. It was nice to sit down with someone that has the same fears I had at that stage and to help them understand the process a little better. Unfortunately for them I didn't sugar coat it and did let them know that it will be a hard process but it will be worth it in the end. Upon my arrival I was greeted with not only friendly faces and new found friendship but as well with a gift. My very first "Ugly doll" she made the doll, I was so surprised and appreciative of the gift. It's one of the cutest things I have for Kaysen and the fact that she made it, makes it even better. So this post is dedicated to Michelle and Bruce and to our new local adoptive parents. It was a pleasure meeting you both and I look forward to sharing this journey with you and experiencing yours as well.

I also received an email from a second couple from the area today, Sarah and Alex, who I will have the pleasure of meeting tomorrow morning. I think it's so great that there are more families in our area embarking on this journey, it will not only provide us with the local support needed but will give our son some people to relate to. Meeting these couples is such an exciting thing for me and to know that I may be able to help them get through it a tad bit easier due to having been there will be a true joy. Yeahhhhh to locals adopting.

Here's a pic of me with my "ugly doll".

7 Things about me

I was tagged by Rana to let you all know 7 things about me that you may or may not already know.
1. I would love to go back to school and become a chef. I truly enjoy cooking and feel that I have missed my calling.
2.I knew about my infertility by the age of 12 (if not earlier), I have always said that I wouldn't be able to have babies, and everytime I got into a serious relationship that would be something I would mention. I only found out medically at the age of 24. I guess my insides knew....pretty sad I know.
3. I absolutely love eating pasta in a deep bowl, I find it makes it taste better than in a plate and I love to eat it while watching TV and not at the kitchen table
4. I had to stop reading about Adoption before bed as I couldn't sleep anymore.
5. I am deathly scared of heights, however I love plane rides and would go for a plane ride just for fun if I could
6. Everything big that happens in my life has a dedicated journal, I love to write what is going on at the time and reflex on it later. These big things are stuff like trips, wedding, adoption...ect..
7. I truly believe in my heart that I have found my soul mate, and feel lucky as I know not everyone gets the same experience.

I'm suppose to tag 7 others, but since alot of you have already been tagged, I invite anyone who hasn't been tagged to join in and let us know more about you.....

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

Today marks 9 months since this "fun" journey began... There were definitely some ups and downs but all and all it was ok. Now for the next 9 mths.

I also wanted to take a moment to thank you all for your support and encouragement, I have had a hard week but I know we all have our moments and must get right back up and keep going. Your words of encouragement in the last post really meant a great deal to me and wish I could meet up with you all to show you my gratitude. But since I can't here is a virtual hug to you all.

more bad news....

Well this is definitely the week to make us all upset with the adoption. Not only do we now have to go through 3-4 court dates to proceed, we were now told that the wait for a referral has been extented from 6-8 mths, to 8-10 mths, which is 2 extra months already. Once this new court process begins they are anticipating more delays. So 2009 is definitely NOT the year we will become parents. I still have hope that will get to see what our son looks like this year but he definitely will not be OURS this year..... very sad week.....

Ethiopian Christmas

Today marks the day for the Ethiopian Christmas, as they follow a completely different calendar then we do, they don't have their holidays on the same day. Please keep reading to hear how they celebrate this day.

Ethiopian Christmas is a major holiday in Ethiopia and falls on January 7, instead of December 25. Unlike the rest of the world Genna is devoid of Santa Claus and Christmas trees. But more recently the trend has been changing where Christmas trees have slowly started creeping into Ethiopian households where many people started using decorating trees even if there is still no Santa Claus stories told, giving and receiving gifts is also not a big deal among the people rather new clothes are bought for children as a present on the holiday.

Genna is followed by one month long fast. It is said that Legend has it that among the Magi the king bearing frankincense as gift to baby Jesus was King Balthazar of Ethiopia. The day before Genna, people fast all day. The next morning at dawn, everyone dresses in white. Most Ethiopians do a traditional shamma, a thin, white cotton wrap with brightly coloured stripes across the ends. After the mass in church families get together to take part in the holiday feast which include doro wot, tela (homemade traditional beer) and Defo Dabo (bread made for holidays). As done in many holidays’ people visit relatives and spend the holiday feasting together.

Christmas is a holiday where many people come together especially in recent times Ethiopian Diaspora come for the holiday in an attempt to not only enjoy Genna, but also celebrate Timket (Epiphany), considered one of the biggest holidays of the year which is just two weeks away from Genna.

In rural areas people play yegena chewata; Ethiopia’s version of hockey which is played using carved stick and kind of rounded ball where men and young boys participate in the game – at times the rivalry can be fierce. There are also songs which are sung to show how people appreciate the game ‘begenna chewata aykotum geta’ at times the rivalry can be fierce. According to tradition, shepherds celebrated when they heard of Jesus birth by playing such a game.


Written by Tibebeselassie Tigabu for the Sub-Saharan Informer

I took the information from this site.

A boy for the Beaudry's

Today I received a call from my brother telling me they had their first ultra sound today and it looks like they will be having a boy. This will not only mean that Kaysen will have a cousin so close in age but he will also have a cousin that he can actually relate to. It's nice for the family as well as the first generation of grand children, my sister's kids, were all girls and now 13 years later the first boy will come along. It will surely be different as we are all used to girls but I'm sure we will have a blast learning with them.

I also wanted to explain on my blog to my brother and sister in law, that I am truly happy about my new nephew and hope that you know I am 100% supportive, I never imagined it would be as hard as it is to see you starting a family while I have to wait but I know it will be amazing for all of us and hope you both know how much I truly love my little nephew already. There is no resentment, simply pain that I can't feel what you are feeling. I do hope you both understand. I am trying my best to stay positive and look forward to raising my son along side yours.... Love you Baby Boy Beaudry.

Court delays, so sad

What a sad day here in the adoption world that is my life. So I wake up this morning feeling blue about the adoption and how long we still have before we become parents and then I go an read that the court system in Ethiopia has changed the requirements for documentation. Which means they now need a whole lot more documentation before they can proceed with the courts. What does this mean? I'm not sure, but i do know that it will for sure me more delays between referral and pick up of child. I just don't know what else to say about this except that I am really sad about it and never would have imagined this process to be so hard. I want to be a mother more than anything in the world right now and I feel there is always some kind of road block ahead.

New Year, New fears.

Here I am, Jan 4Th 2009, 2pm and doing nothing....absolutely nothing. I woke up this morning feeling very tired as I haven't been sleeping very well lately and decided the only thing I had to do today was shower and vacuum, well now that I've done both I have nothing else to do. I love that I have nothing to do (I have lots I could be doing...lol) but I'm going to be pretty bored in a few hours and then Chris goes to work and then what right?? Then I start the crazy cycle I've been on since the new year. It's almost like something has hit me and I don't know how to deal with it. I keep thinking of the year to come and how I'm suppose to deal with what the adoption will be throwing my way. I mean, how do you deal with the emotions of a referral, and then having to wait while your child is so far away, and then how do you deal with getting on the plane and the emotions you must feel, and then the most important one, how do you deal with seeing and holding your child for the first time. Don't get me wrong, i have thought of this stuff before but now I'm realizing that some of it will happen in the next year and I'm thinking..."HOW DO YOU DO IT?" I'm picturing myself being sick alot with anxiety, which is something I have never felt, and my heart exploding from all the emotions. So I ask you all, How did you get through it and how do you deal with the emotions? I look forward to every step that is to come but i'm also scared of the unknown. I was telling Chris this week that I feel like a countdown to parenthood has finally begun for us, at least we have a long time to take it all in, I would trade a fast process any day, but since I can't, I will try to use the time to get ready. But how do you get ready? I mean, seriously, we go from one day being non parents to getting on a plane and become full parents, who does that, right? We do, parents in waiting, who have waited longer than they ever thought possible to hold their child, parents who would go to the end of the world and back just to feel whole as a family, parents who are stronger then they thought they were and parents who have fallen in love with someone that didn't grow inside them, that was simply a possibility for so long. The yearning for our son is unbearable, and I don't even know who he is yet, which is the reason for me not knowing how I will deal with the next year. I thank God for all the support I have surrounding us on a daily basis as they are what will make this year go by easier. I guess the whole reason for this post today is to express my recent fears, my recent emotions and my recent thoughts. I am sooooo excited for the year ahead, but I am also so scared all at the same time.

2009

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE.

CHEERS TO 2009, THE YEAR WE GET TO SEE OUR SON !!!

Last night was a great evening of plenty of laughter surrounded by loved one. I held it together at the stroke of midnight, but what an overwhelming feeling to know that this year will be such a great year for many of us. Thanks for a great night Mom, Dad, Ren and Pat.