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Saturday, February 20, 2010

Happy/Sad Finally posted.

I borrowed this post from someone a long time ago and forgot to actually post. It was so well said and everything we all feel.
Enjoy.

I have been emotionally fighting between HAPPY and SAD lately.....
Happy to be an Aunt....... Sad not to be a mom
Happy to see my nieces grow from day one....... Sad to miss the early lives of our children (to be)
Happy to be adopting...... Sad not to feel them grow in me
Happy not to be going through a delivery......... Sad not to be breast feeding them
Happy to be going to Africa...... Sad not to be planning the trip yet
Happy for others referrals of Beautiful children...... Sad to not know when it will happen for us
Happy that life has taken me on this journey and met amazing people..... Sad that it is so hard and so longgggggg
Happy to spend time with my family..... Sad that I don't have my own yet (well hubby and dog)
Happy to be alive, healthy and breathing........ Sad to be getting older and more tired
Happy that I have the most AMAZING husband...... Sad not to see him be a DAD yet
Happy to TRUELY want children and not take it for granted.... Sad not to really live it
Happy to have the means to get what is needed for our family...... Sad I can't get things ready yet
One minute I am thankful and happy and the next I am sad and frustrated. I figure maybe a year from now it will HOPEFULLY be a reality.
I don't want to wait to live but it is hard not to dwell on the WHEN. It is an effort to live in the moment right now. But I do not want to look back and think.... man.... I should have lived EVERY minute.... life is too short.

1 comment:

lyndsey&kevin said...

I'm flattered!! Thanks for sharing that this is also how you are feeling. When I wrote this we were still waiting for our referral... now we have our referral for two beautiful little girls... but the wait for court.. being FOUR months now is still very similar.. happy to have a referral, sad to not be getting closer to our girls. Happy to think about SPECIFIC people.. but sad that now they are getting older and are living without us and us without them...

It is a hard process until the end.... we wait together!