Weird feeling

Today I went and purchased a few bins to store Kaysen's stuff while we get the office ready and his room ready. I know I should have felt happy that his stuff was being stored to make room to get his room ready (which I won't do until after the referral) but I was sad. Sad that I won't get to see his stuff there everyday, sad thinking "Will I ever get to actually use this stuff? and if so, when?" and mostly sad because he isn't coming home for a long time and I want him home. This year will be a busy year for us as my parents will be moving in (once there home sells) and we will be renovating the house to accomodate them and give everyone their own space, but I still don't think it will be busy enough to make time go by faster. The great thing is that we will be busy with all kinds of stuff to maybe not have time to sit around and drown in self pitty.

It will be so nice to have my parents around for Kaysen. They won't be here all year round as they plan to travel now that my dad is retired, which will be nice as i'm sure we will all need a break from each other once in a while but I feel this is a good move and it will be great to have them around once Kaysen get's here. Once the attachement/adjusting stage is someone passed, meaning he knows who his mommy and daddy is, he will love to get to know them more and have them around. The first few months home may be tougher for him as he needs to sort of stick with Chris and I only but then i'm sure i'll never see him .... which may not be a good thing for me. My parents will be so happy to see him everyday, and to make them and him happy will be a great feeling. I think having not had children for so long, Chris and I will appreciate the extra help, and the occasional breaks. Even adoptive parents who go through what we are all going through will someday need a break, it's normal, it's life. I can already picture him running down to greet his "Memere and Pepere" in the morning, and the joy my parents will get from it fills my heart. I guess i'm just very family oriented and love to make my family smile. Wish us luck.... !!!

I missed my Eleventh Month day yesterday, so here is my Eleventh Month post.

It has now been Eleven months since our journey began, how crazy is that, just one month short of a year. So far things have been going well. I'm taking things on a day to day basis and just trying to stay busy as to not worry to much about everything else, and so far it's helping. It has been a great 11 months, filled with ups and downs, however, i'm not sure if I would like to do it again. (I say that know, but I know I WILL do it again for #2). Anyways, not much else to say, except thank you all for sharing and supporting us for another month.

World Baseball Classic 2009

Chris and I just got back from our trip to Toronto. We went there to watch the World Baseball Classic CAN VS USA game on Saturday and had a great time. CAN ended up losing but it was a close game right to the last swing. We always have such a great time at these events and can't wait to have Kaysen with us to enjoy it as well. We also stopped by the IKEA store and I bought a few things for Kaysen, among small item we purchased a toy organizer with multi size bins, and a great art easle, on one side it's a chalk board, on the other a white board, we realize he won't be using for a year or so, after his arrival, but for $20 you can't go wrong.

Here are a few pics of the game.

I know, I know "We are too cute" lol

Derek Jeter giving the eyes from afar...lol

World Baseball Classic

Rogers Centre, Toronto ON

March 7th 2009

CAN 5 USA 6

Congratulations

Just wanted to post a Congratulations to a friend who has become a forever mommy this week. I am so happy for you T, your baby is a blessing and you deserve to be blessed. You will be an amazing mother and I can't wait to watch you all grow together.

Update on Valentine's Day

In my Valentine's Day post I mentioned I would show you all the gift Chris got, well here it finally is. Isn't it the cutest little thing, and the word "HOPE"...enough said. thank you my love for the wonderful gift and for bringing Kaysen into our home every chance you get. xoxoxo

Secret Pal Gift

I received my gift from my secret pal today and all I can is WOW, it brought tears to my eyes. It's a picture box for my son's room with "Kaysen" engraved on the cover. How amazing is my secret pal, she is so thoughtful. Not only to think of my future child but to take the time to get his name engraved was over the top.
Thank you so very much, it's very appreciated.

I know you can't really see it, but that is "KAYSEN" engraved.

One for the ladies

I was reading Claire's (BCmommy) blog and saw this video. This video describes how women bond, how women share and how women over come, just by being there for each other. I know that without all the women in my life, at home, a far, or online, this journey would be alot harder.

More awareness....

I watched this from Darci's blog and had to share with you all....

http://www.allgodschildren.org/ethiopia_hh.html

imagine what we could do if we could all help out just a little, one little boy just showed us the importance of a small pair of shoes. Throughout this year I will be collecting items to bring to Ethiopia with us and provide to the orphange, as you have all seen it's much needed and much appreciated. Should anyone out there feel like helping out, please do not hesitate to contact me, i'm willing to go get items if need be, and please don't forget the older children, as they need it as much as the babies. I thank you all in advance for your support and helping these children is the way you can help us with our adoption.

3 month mark

We are at 3 months now waiting for our referral. I can actually say that I may get to see my son in less than 7 months, what a great feeling. The last 3 months have not been a blissful walk in the park but they did go by and so will the next and the next until the "call" finally comes. What a great feeling to be 3 months in, I remember looking at other blogs and seeing the 3 month mark and hoping that it could be me. Well now it is... on to 4.

25 Couples questions.

I saw this questionnaire on Rhonda's Blog and felt that you may want to know some stuff about our relationship as I tend to make this blog more about me and it's actually about us, so here goes....

♥ What are your middle names? Therese and Thomas

♥ How long have you been together? 8 years March 19th, married 5 years April 28

♥ How long did you know each other before you started dating? We worked together for 6 mths before we started dating, we both in relationships prior to that

♥ Who asked who out? Chris asked me out to a movie in a few days and then once I said yes he came back and asked for a dinner date the next evening

♥ Whose siblings do you see the most? Mine, but we would like to see his more often

♥ Do you have any children together? Not yet, as you all know we are waiting for to see our future son.

♥ What about pets? We have three Furkids, Jake (hound x, 7yrs), Maddux (Golden Retriever, 5 1/2 yrs), Ziggy (Shitz Poo, 2 1/2 yrs), they are currently our kids and we wonder all the time how we will all adjust to a new addition. Chris and I are definitely ready for the challenge but are they?

♥ Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple? So far, Adoption, I figured nothing could beat infertility, I was wrong. I have the strongest husband in the world but i'm a total wreck.

♥ Did you go to the same school? I wish, I heard he was quite the guy back then as well

♥ Are you from the same home town? Same City area but different little towns, 10 min away

♥ Who is the smartest? I would say Chris for sure. Not that i'm not smart, just in different ways, so if we are talking information smart he is the one, he knows all kinds of stuff that I would never even care to know about

♥ Who is the most sensitive? Hands down I win this one. I have never seen a bride cry as much as I did on our wedding date. I'm the worse when it comes to the baby issue.

♥ Where do you eat out most as a couple? We tend to have variety, but our favorite is Deluxe (the best burger joint in town, if you are ever in Sudbury you MUST TRY the chicken on a bun dinner and fries)

♥ Who has the craziest ex? Our last ex was 8 yrs ago so really our ex's are done and in the past.

♥ Who has the worst temper? Chris has little patience with small things like cooking, renovating ect... but with everything else I would have to win this one too....i'm so lucky today.

♥ Who does the cooking? We both do the cooking but he is so much better at it, I just love cooking and baking, especially for company.

♥ Who is more social? That would be me, Chris is a man of few words.

♥ Who is the neat-freak? I would say Chris is more than I am, it bothers him more if things are messy.

♥ Who is the more stubborn? Me, again...

♥ Who hogs the bed? The dogs, we just kind of fit in there somewhere, however i always stay in the same spot and he is all over the bed.

♥ Who wakes up earlier? it used to be Chris but now it's me, I think he's becoming a teenager again, sleeping in till 10am

♥ Where was your first date? Pat and Mario's Restaurant, the only time I ever seen Chris leave food on his plate....lol

♥ Who has the bigger family? We have the same amount of siblings, but I have a very large extended familly.

♥ Do you get flowers often? Yes, he gets them for me for just nothing which is always nice.

♥ How do you spend the holidays? With my family

♥ Who is more jealous? I would say me, but i'm not really jealous, I just don't think he is at all.

♥ How long did it take to get serious? about 1 date...

♥ Who eats more? I eat more often, he eats more in one sitting...by far

♥ Who does/did the laundry? Chris does all the laundry all the time, that is what he does on his days off.... I know i'm so lucky. I just have to put it away.

♥ Who’s better with the computer? Me.

♥ Who drives when you are together? about 50/50 all depends on which vehicle we are driving. My car I drive, his truck he drives.

Best Surprise ever.

So I get a ticket in my mail box the other day to go pick up a package at the post office. I just ordered pics online and thought it was the pictures so I didn't rush over. Well to my surprise, I get there today and get this super wonderful thoughtful beautiful precious amazing gift from a super wonderful amazing adoptive mother. This is an adoptive mother I have yet to speak to, we have only communicated online, however I have felt a huge connection to her since the very first email. (I will be speaking to her on the phone this evening...just in case you were wondering). She seems like such an amazing person, that has alot in common with me. Unfortunately she lives a few provinces away and I can't meet with her....for now anyways. I can't write who it is or show you what I received yet as there was a note to wait until after next months secret pal gift exchange... but I had to post that I'm completely surprised, feel so much love inside to know someone I haven't met yet thinks so much of me to do this for me and just wanted to say THANK YOU SO MUCH. I can't wait to talk to you.

One good part of this adoption is the wonderful friends I have made and feel blessed to have met in the adoption community, although in cyberspace, for the most part. These are friendships that will grow as each of us brings home our little ones and I cherish each and every one of you.

I thank you again for being so thoughtful and caring. This gift means alot more to me than you can ever imagine....(Thanks insert name here)


PS.... I promise to share with you all this wonderful surprise once i'm allowed.

PHOTO TAG

I was tagged by Rhonda and Claire (BCmommy) so here it is.

Photo Tag Here's what you do:Go to your fourth folder of photos and post the fourth photo you find there.No editing allowed.

2 of my favorite people doing what they do best.

If you are reading this and haven't been tagged, it's your turn... I have just tagged you.

A great day

Yesterday was Valentine's day and what a great day we had. I started my day off with some shopping, and then came home to make a wonderful 4 course meal for my special valentine. We both got dressed up, and had a wonderful romantic candle light dinner that began with a garlic shrimp appetizer topped with melted mozzarella, then a heart shaped (stuffed with cheese and spinach) pasta in a rose mushroom sauce, then we enjoyed a perfectly cooked fillet Mignon wrapped in bacon, prosciutto wrapped asparagus and light rice. To finish this wonderful meal I made a wonderful triple chocolate dessert shaped like a heart, it was soooo good. I had been looking for weeks to get the right dessert recipe and after mixing one with another I found perfection. We finished off our dinner with a wonderful dance to one of "our songs". This Valentine was definitely one of the best so far. Alot of work but definitely worth every minute. For the amount of emotions Chris deals with on a weekly basis he deserves to be treated like royalty once in awhile, I thank god for him everyday and know that without him I would never be strong enough to keep going. I think we should honor those we love more often then once a year but I think it's great that there is a day dedicated to it just in case time passes us by and we forget. I received another special gift yesterday of a young boy holding a "HOPE" balloon, it's just beautiful. I'll post a picture once I find my camera.

I hope you all had a special day with the ones you love.

Thank you all

Thank you all so much. Its so nice to know that I have the support of not only my family but my cyber family as well. I just had a nap to catch up on sleep and feel much better. Full force ahead to our future. thanks again everyone, it means so much.

PS. thank you Stephanie for the phone call, even though I didn't feel like talking you made me feel better. Have fun this weekend and good luck on Tuesday. I'll be thinking of you.

Life is hard

I wish I was a child again and wouldn't have to worry about all the adult decisions I have to deal with on a day to day basis. I knew the recession was getting worse but this week it hit home with the mines letting go of 700 ppl (my father being one of them)a, which in turn will affect thousands in the community. Real Estate has hit bottom, there are many homes for sale but no one wants to buy as they don't know what the future holds. I feel like I also lost my job as there isn't much hope for a successful Real Estate year. I'm still looking for a job but not sure who is hiring, I have bills to pay, food to buy, house to heat all while worrying about being able to bring my son home when the time comes. I keep telling myself that it's a year away, but if the year keeps going the way it has so far there will be even less money at that time. I just don't know what to do to make all this better. I tend to be the type of person that wants to make sure everyone around me is safe and taken care of, but I just don't know how to do that and it's killing me inside, I haven't slept properly in weeks and have never in all my life been stressed like this. and if you know me, i'm a pretty easy going person that doesn't stress easily. If only I could be a child again and not have to deal with life being so hard....

First Ethiopian Dinner

Tonight I went over to a friends house for my first Ethiopian dinner and it was great. It reminded me alot of Indian cuisin with the spices and all but it's something I look forward to eating again. I unfortunately had to leave early due to work but will enjoy my dessert tomorrow as I took it to go. I meant to take pictures but forgot my camera.

Thanks Michelle and Bruce for a great dinner and thanks Sara and Alex for the added company. It was a great night and we will do it again soon,

10 months

10 months since we began our journey. Looking back I feel like it went by fast but on a day to day basis the sign above explains the feeling. Thanks everyone for your constent support it's truly appreciated.

Why do we forget and move on?

Why do we always forget what is going on in the world. We wake up every morning and complain about something going on in our lives. We then watch something like the video below and it makes us grateful and then a day or so later we go on with our days and put it aside as if it's not really happening. I'm not saying i'm not guilty of doing it myself, I just wish we wouldn't.

Warning***this is a hard video to watch, however I think it's necessary to make awareness happen***

New way of looking at things

I've decided to try and look at this a new way and see if it helps out. I have decided to look at it as "there is ONLY one year left" before our son arrives. We ONLY have 12 months or so to get everything done around here that is needed. We ONLY have 12 months or so of hardly any responsibilities, we ONLY have 12 months or so to do what we want when we want to do it. We ONLY have 12 months or so to enjoy our time alone together before our whole life changes and our priorities change (for the best of course) so I will try this way of thinking and see where it leads me...I'll keep you all posted.

Thanks again for the support.

The Roller Coaster Ride

I read this on a fellower adoption blogger (rana) site last week and wanted to share with you all, as it describes this process perfectly. Enjoy.

The Roller Coaster Ride
You prepare yourself for the ride - you do lots of research finding the right one - you save your money, you stand in line and when you get to the front you are relieved to find you meet the height requirement.

You know this is going to be a crazy ride but you have pumped yourself up for it. How bad could it be really? Everyone else getting off the ride as you get on is smiling and looks happy. Oh sure there are a few people who look a little green in the face but you are strong, you can make it thru with grace and style.

As you get on the ride you are giddy with anticipation. Your palms are sweaty, and your stomach turns nervously! You belt yourself in tightly - you don't want to fall off - no, that wouldn't be cool.You say a little prayer that the tracks won't fall off or the ride attendant won't fall asleep. You lean back and tell yourself "enjoy the ride".

As you go up the first incline - you are happy, happy you were brave enough to get on the ride. You look at the people who are standing watching the ride - they are too scared to even think about it - they admire you for your bravery...or your lunacy - whatever!You are seated somewhere in the middle of the ride - you see there a quite a few people ahead of you at the front of the ride - oh how you wish you were there. You turn and look behind you and see the people behind you, their grins telling you it will be o.k - we are in this together!

As you nose dive down the first hill, you think, "heck, ya! I can do this!"

Then the twists and turns start to come - you brace yourself for the next turn, your hair whips around your face and you hold on as tight as you can making your knuckles go white.

You can't believe how long the ride is - when you were in line no one told you it would be so long. You start to panic and wonder if the ride attendant did, indeed, fall asleep - did he forget he had passengers? - will he wake up and bring us home?

As you hurtle thru the ups and downs and twists and turns, you hear others yelling too, you know you are not alone - you take comfort that you are not the only one yelling at the top of their lungs.You start to feel nauseous - you might not be able to hold on very much longer - you grasp on to your husband because he is stronger and won't let you fly off the ride!!

You scream out "WHAT DID I GET MYSELF INTO?" and "I WOULD LIKE OFF NOW!". The attendant just smiles and says "Soon, you will be able to get off soon. You are almost to the end, but you need to hold on just a little longer."